Tim Blair
Monday, January 03, 2011 at 01:30pmThe ABC’S Science Show – normally given over to scientific issues, as the title suggests – took an unexpected turn on Saturday night. Host Robyn Williams suddenly found himself in the presence of a religious fundamentalist.
You don’t often hear during a science broadcast of spirit beings taking physical form. Nor are rocks and soil usually credited with the capacity to develop brains and nervous systems. But that’s what we heard during Williams’s interview with Tim Flannery, recorded before a presumably stunned audience at the University of Sydney’s Seymour Centre.
Flannery, previously an Australian of the Year and still on various government panels, predicted that the inanimate Earth would soon come to life in the form of Gaia, an ancient Greek god. He’s previously flirted with Gaia-belief, but never quite to this extent. Flannery’s exact words:
“I think that within this century the concept of the strong Gaia will actually become physically manifest.”
Well, that’s something we can all look forward to. A living god, not only on this earth, but of it. Flannery, a frequent ABC presence, continued:
“I do think that the Gaia of the ancient Greeks, where they believed the earth was effectively one whole and perfect living creature, that doesn’t exist yet, but it will exist in future.”
Flannery says it and I believe it. He’s a scientist, after all. Come on down, Gaia! Hey, if the big guy can take out Australian citizenship by this morning and hold a cricket bat, we’ve got a job for him at the SCG. Jimmy Anderson might be able to confound most of our top order, but let’s see his punishing outswingers beat a whole and perfect living creature.
Although it could be difficult sourcing at short notice a 40,075km baggy green cap to contain Gaia’s earthly circumference. He’s got a big head on him, this Gaia, and that’s before he’s even scored a single Test run. In other words, he should fit right in with the rest of the team.
Back to the Science Show, where Flannery expanded on the conditions needed for an appearance by the G-dog. “We’ll never be able to control the earth, there’s no doubt about it,” he said, which kind of shoves to one side the earnest efforts of climate change activists, including Flannery himself. “We can’t control its systems. But we can nudge them and we can foresee danger.”
With Global Nudging underway, it’s just a matter of time. “Once that occurs, then the Gaia of the ancient Greeks really will exist,” exulted Flannery. “This planet, this Gaia, will have acquired a brain and a nervous system. That will make it act as a living animal, as a living organism, at some sort of level.” All right! And people thought Oprah was a big deal.
Flannery has been talking up this transformation for some time. He told an audience at La Trobe University in 2009 that “just over the last decade Gaia is on the threshold of acquiring a brain … the Kyoto Protocol was a first failed attempt by Gaia to regulate its conditions … Gaia now has a consciousness. Just as we have a consciousness.”
That’s some serious science right there, friends. But how will the rest of us – those who aren’t so rational and sciencey and all – know when the great moment is upon us? How will we know that the Earth has grown a brain? For that matter, what will this sentient Frankenplanet spirit monster look like?
According to a Flannery piece in the New York Review of Books, James Lovelock – the British science guy who came up with this Gaia rubbish in the first place – “often describes Gaia as an elderly lady”. Presumably a really big one, with a cloud-sized blue rinse and bingo wings so gigantic that they can trigger hurricanes.
Also, she’s into incest. Ancient Greek poet Hesiod wrote that Gaia “lay with her son, Uranus,” thus spawning a whole pile of inbred godlets. No surprise that one of them, Cyclops, only had a single eye. Thanks for the diminished gene pool and depth-perception issues, Gaia and uncle-daddy.
Do we really want this child-sexing redneck mama walking among us? Sure, it’s fine for Flannery, who’s on Gaia’s team. He can even communicate with the beast, as he explained to Andrew Denton in 2008. “It’s life that makes the atmosphere what it is, that’s a very important aspect of Gaia, you know,” said the bearded Gaia-whisperer. “Gaia is life working as a whole to maintain the atmosphere as it is, so that life can go on. So, Gaia I think is saying to us ‘it’s time you took control.’ “
It’s definitely time we took something. Chlorpromazine, possibly, or anything else in the anti-hallucinogenic range. Flannery’s audience never sees a bad side to Gaia’s looming incarnation, but many of us should fear it. She’s likely not to be impressed by carbon polluters, for example. To them, Gaia will no doubt materialise in the manner of a vengeful Japanese movie monster. Instead of Godzilla or Mothra, she will be Carbonara, slayer of coal-fired power plants and non-cyclists. It’ll be quite a show.
Problem is, we already have a Gaia, complete with brain and central nervous system. She’s the sweet little daughter of British actress Emma Thompson, who bestowed that name on her girl ten years ago following successful – if not completely natural and possibly even anti-Gaia – IVF treatment. Fun will abound in the Thompson household during Gaia’s teenage years: “Gaia, finish your homework!” “It’s your turn to do the dishes, Gaia.” “Come back here, Gaia! You are NOT going out dressed like that!”
Still, it’s nice that science folk and ABC presenters are getting behind peculiar religious beliefs and general occult weirdness. During last year’s election campaign, most of these types were spooked by Tony Abbott’s relatively benign Catholicism. Now they’re easily able to cope with the summoning of a dirt god. Truly, we live in an age of miracles.
You don’t often hear during a science broadcast of spirit beings taking physical form. Nor are rocks and soil usually credited with the capacity to develop brains and nervous systems. But that’s what we heard during Williams’s interview with Tim Flannery, recorded before a presumably stunned audience at the University of Sydney’s Seymour Centre.
Flannery, previously an Australian of the Year and still on various government panels, predicted that the inanimate Earth would soon come to life in the form of Gaia, an ancient Greek god. He’s previously flirted with Gaia-belief, but never quite to this extent. Flannery’s exact words:
“I think that within this century the concept of the strong Gaia will actually become physically manifest.”
Well, that’s something we can all look forward to. A living god, not only on this earth, but of it. Flannery, a frequent ABC presence, continued:
“I do think that the Gaia of the ancient Greeks, where they believed the earth was effectively one whole and perfect living creature, that doesn’t exist yet, but it will exist in future.”
Flannery says it and I believe it. He’s a scientist, after all. Come on down, Gaia! Hey, if the big guy can take out Australian citizenship by this morning and hold a cricket bat, we’ve got a job for him at the SCG. Jimmy Anderson might be able to confound most of our top order, but let’s see his punishing outswingers beat a whole and perfect living creature.
Although it could be difficult sourcing at short notice a 40,075km baggy green cap to contain Gaia’s earthly circumference. He’s got a big head on him, this Gaia, and that’s before he’s even scored a single Test run. In other words, he should fit right in with the rest of the team.
Back to the Science Show, where Flannery expanded on the conditions needed for an appearance by the G-dog. “We’ll never be able to control the earth, there’s no doubt about it,” he said, which kind of shoves to one side the earnest efforts of climate change activists, including Flannery himself. “We can’t control its systems. But we can nudge them and we can foresee danger.”
With Global Nudging underway, it’s just a matter of time. “Once that occurs, then the Gaia of the ancient Greeks really will exist,” exulted Flannery. “This planet, this Gaia, will have acquired a brain and a nervous system. That will make it act as a living animal, as a living organism, at some sort of level.” All right! And people thought Oprah was a big deal.
Flannery has been talking up this transformation for some time. He told an audience at La Trobe University in 2009 that “just over the last decade Gaia is on the threshold of acquiring a brain … the Kyoto Protocol was a first failed attempt by Gaia to regulate its conditions … Gaia now has a consciousness. Just as we have a consciousness.”
That’s some serious science right there, friends. But how will the rest of us – those who aren’t so rational and sciencey and all – know when the great moment is upon us? How will we know that the Earth has grown a brain? For that matter, what will this sentient Frankenplanet spirit monster look like?
According to a Flannery piece in the New York Review of Books, James Lovelock – the British science guy who came up with this Gaia rubbish in the first place – “often describes Gaia as an elderly lady”. Presumably a really big one, with a cloud-sized blue rinse and bingo wings so gigantic that they can trigger hurricanes.
Also, she’s into incest. Ancient Greek poet Hesiod wrote that Gaia “lay with her son, Uranus,” thus spawning a whole pile of inbred godlets. No surprise that one of them, Cyclops, only had a single eye. Thanks for the diminished gene pool and depth-perception issues, Gaia and uncle-daddy.
Do we really want this child-sexing redneck mama walking among us? Sure, it’s fine for Flannery, who’s on Gaia’s team. He can even communicate with the beast, as he explained to Andrew Denton in 2008. “It’s life that makes the atmosphere what it is, that’s a very important aspect of Gaia, you know,” said the bearded Gaia-whisperer. “Gaia is life working as a whole to maintain the atmosphere as it is, so that life can go on. So, Gaia I think is saying to us ‘it’s time you took control.’ “
It’s definitely time we took something. Chlorpromazine, possibly, or anything else in the anti-hallucinogenic range. Flannery’s audience never sees a bad side to Gaia’s looming incarnation, but many of us should fear it. She’s likely not to be impressed by carbon polluters, for example. To them, Gaia will no doubt materialise in the manner of a vengeful Japanese movie monster. Instead of Godzilla or Mothra, she will be Carbonara, slayer of coal-fired power plants and non-cyclists. It’ll be quite a show.
Problem is, we already have a Gaia, complete with brain and central nervous system. She’s the sweet little daughter of British actress Emma Thompson, who bestowed that name on her girl ten years ago following successful – if not completely natural and possibly even anti-Gaia – IVF treatment. Fun will abound in the Thompson household during Gaia’s teenage years: “Gaia, finish your homework!” “It’s your turn to do the dishes, Gaia.” “Come back here, Gaia! You are NOT going out dressed like that!”
Still, it’s nice that science folk and ABC presenters are getting behind peculiar religious beliefs and general occult weirdness. During last year’s election campaign, most of these types were spooked by Tony Abbott’s relatively benign Catholicism. Now they’re easily able to cope with the summoning of a dirt god. Truly, we live in an age of miracles.
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